^la | 2008-03-12 21:50 | perskaitė: 741
USD Good evening ladies and gentlemen, It is good to be your Reserve Currency this evening. But I tell ya, it's not easy being the Dollar. In fact I get no r

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,

It is good to be your Reserve Currency this evening. But I tell ya, it's not easy being the Dollar. In fact I get no respect. No respect at all. I was walkin over here and someone mistook me for a rupee. I tell ya I get no respect. Speaking of rupees, did you hear what they did to me last week? Yeah, just last week, the Indian Tourist minister said Americans can no longer pay in dollars to see the Taj Mahal. What, just because I fell 11% against the rupee last year? What can I say? Everybody has a bad year now and then. But what am I, a peso? I tell ya, I get no respect. Take last fall. I’m minding my own business, you know the usual, flooding foreign central banks with U.S. currency, and I get this phone call. My assistant, Ms. Fiat, takes the call. She says, "It’s Tahmasb." I said, "Gesundheitt, here take some Advil." So then she says, “No you got a call from Maaheri." I said, it’s probably Hank Paulson, tell him I’m not Maaheri either." "No, no" she said, it’s Iran’s central banker, Tahmasb Maaheri. "He says he’s dumping you one hundred percent." So I told him that I cared zero percent. Still it’s embarrassing, being dumped by Iran. That's like Britney Speers calling you a bad parent. I tell ya, I get less and less respect every day.

And it is not just Iran. It’s the UAE too. Yeah, the UAE. Heck, until yesterday I thought the UAE played Southern Miss in the Papa Johns Bowl. But the U.A.E. is the United Arab Emirates. And in 2006 they converted about eight percent of their foreign-exchange reserves from Dollars to euros. Can you imagine swapping the macho American Dollar for the sniveling Euro? Sacre bleu, I get no respect.

Saudi Arabia! To think of all we’ve done for them, keeping our military bases over there, and on our dime too. And last year even they made noises about ditching the Dollar peg from their riyal. But now they say, maybe I’m not such a bad peg after all.

Kuwait! Tiny, measly, indebted-to-us-forever-Kuwait, dropped its peg last May. Talk about getting no respect at all.

Do I have to remind you folks about the Supermodel? She doesn’t want to do the catwalk for American currency anymore. Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but Gisele wants to be paid in euros. How loony is that?

Speaking of the loonie, can you even believe the Canadian dollar is on par with the real Dollar? You know, they got some cheap pharmaceuticals over there, but if this keeps up it will be cheaper to forget the drugs and buy a whole new organ here in the States. I mean somebody’s gotta do something about this. You want a bunch of Canadians coming across our borders buying up all the good hockey tickets? I’d better start getting some respect around here.

You would think I’d get some respect from China. I tell ya, I thought we had a deal. They keep their currency ridiculously undervalued and we keep buying ceramic frogs from Wal-Mart. But now they’re letting that yuan creep up against me. And now they’re complaining about too many of us Dollars coming into their country. Not only that, they’re moaning about how our Treasuries aren’t earning enough return for them, and how they are going to diversify away from Dollars. But that doesn’t stop them from wanting big chunks of American companies, does it? No sir, they still need us. They need me. I tell ya, I don’t get no respect.

Do you know what else they want? They want Alan Greenspan. That’s right, the news said the China Investment Corporation, you know that government thing buying all the companies? They wanna add Greenspan to their advisory board. Serves 'em right, doesn’t it.


2008 02 27 07:24     #12486
2008 02 27 09:23     #12488
Nenuostabu, kad po tokių naujienų USD krenta...
2008 02 27 11:27     #12489
2008 02 27 21:32     #12490
Cia geras
2008 03 12 23:34     #12576
paskutines penkios zvakes dar +/- Mat Hold ispaise - way to go
2008 03 14 20:16     #12580
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